"apology"

The first time I hurt MTL's feelings--however unintentionally--I faced a new kind of reality. For the first time my emotional reaction and my apology were based not on fear of losing him (though I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a tinge of that--yay emotional baggage!) but on pain for having hurt him at all.

So this is what I wrote. He'd already accepted my apology, but this seemed to heal the hurt.

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"apology"

i hurt you
and in hurting you
hurt myself
because somehow
somewhen
you became more than just
someone i know
this connection between us
links us in joy and pain alike

and even though you say
we're okay
the ache lingers like a bruise
and likely will
until i can look into your eyes
get lost in their cerulean depths
kiss your lips
feel your body beneath my hands
the thrum of your heart under my fingers
until i can whisper love in your ear
breath warm against your skin
and sink into the peace of You

until then
all i can do is send my love
and apologies
across the miles between us
fumbling with the words that must substitute
poorly
for the reality of how i feel