Friday, April 29, 2011


Blending families isn't easy. There are always obstacles, speed bumps, steps backward. I've learned to be patient and keep my expectations reasonable.

But there are those moments that make my heart sing.

KlutzGirl curling up on the couch with me to watch TV, letting me stroke her long blond hair and give her a cuddle.

The Padawan making a sly joke about me that sets us all laughing.

The Dark One letting me hug her--and kind of hugging me back.

DramaBoy running across the room to hug MTL exuberantly after days at his dad's place.

The Widget giggling uncontrollably as MTL tickles him and they rough house on the couch.

Sitting around the dining room table, all of us, eating dinner and laughing. Together. A family.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I haven't posted here in a month. Truth be told, I haven't even been reading blogs lately, much less blogging. I realized last week while chatting with a friend that I've been "turtling"--pulling my head and limbs into safety, shielding myself from the world, because apparently the world has gone insane. I'm trying to get through without going batshit crazy, and apparently that has lately meant cutting off most of the interactive online world. Blogger, Facebook, all that: I've been MIA and struggling to even care.

The country where I grew up blew up into civil war (again) just days after my parents flew out. While one side (the side we support, remarkably) has technically won, the violence goes on. At this point I rely on the news my parents give me. Most of the news centers get it wrong, anyhow. Contrary to popular opinion, it is NOT a religious conflict, among other pieces of disinformation.

The reality of politics and legislation in this state and region and nation has shot my blood pressure through the roof. It's all or nothing for me: either I tuck my head down and shut my mouth, or I'm ranting. I need to find a career counselor. I've never had a back-up plan for an alternate career: now I may not have a choice. I need to be prepared.

I hate politics. I hate most politicians. I hate the greed and corruption and rampant corporate capitalism that has washed over us all and isn't even pretending to care about 98% of the population any longer.

I wish I could just pull into my shell indefinitely.